My Favorite People on Facebook

I understand that we consume a lot of content here on the internet, and that people have to keep generating more and more content for all of us to consume. And I realize that if you're one of those content creators, lists are an easy thing to churn out--but why is it that so many of those lists seem to be so negative?

We've all seen them:  "Ten People You Want to Avoid at the Office." "Twelve Facebook Statuses You Should Never Post." "Things You Should Definitely Not Wear if You Are Over 40." Even in the yoga world, where it's supposed to be all about non-judgment, I see things like "The Twelve Most Annoying People in Your Yoga Class." And of course: "The Fifteen Most Annoying Friends on Facebook."

Really? Why do we do this? Sure, we all know those people (not the yoga ones, though--honestly, I don't know who these people have in their studios, but it's not something I've encountered). But although I will admit I have read a few of those lists, I would never actually share them on Facebook.

Even if 60% or so of my Facebook friends are actually real-life acquaintances rather than actual friends, why would I want them to read that, see themselves in the list, and become self-conscious about the fact that they've been annoying? And am I not probably one of those annoying types to someone else?

Maybe people think it's a good way to give those annoying people a subtle hint, but I don't really see it that way. It just seems a little mean-spirited because, after all, no one has a gun to our heads forcing us to have those people on our friends list. Why can't we just let people be who they are and not be so hard on them about those little things?

To reverse that trend, I'm offering my own list. Here, in no particular order, are some of my favorite people on Facebook:

1. People I knew as a kid who have turned into really interesting adults. Everybody (well, everybody over a certain age) has at least one friend on Facebook that they haven't actually seen in 20 or 30 years, but they found you, or you found them--the guy who was a little nerdy and asked your best friend to the prom, or the girl you hung out with that your parents weren't entirely thrilled with. I have a lot of those friends--and it's been fun to see how they turned out. A couple of guys I interact with a decent amount on Facebook are guys I went to high school with and I really don't remember ever having a conversation with them when we were in high school--but the somewhat nerdy guy who asked my friend to the Christmas social is the person I'm most looking forward to seeing at our class reunion next year. Go figure.
2. In the same vein, people I have worked with in the past and really only saw through a professional lens. There's a woman who takes beautiful wildlife photographs, and I would never have suspected her of being artistic. A guy who was an accountant where I used to work, and we butted heads a lot, also has an artistic bent, and he likes to bake bread. Who knew? An IT guy I worked with posts the most interesting articles about science, with thoughtful commentary.
3. My son's friends/my friends' kids/young relatives. I know everyone is saying that teenagers are abandoning Facebook, and maybe they are, but I'm glad at least a few of them are still around and on my friends list. It's good to be reminded of what it was like to be 15 or 19 or 22, and also to see how  it's different being that age now than it was 25 or 30 years ago. I hear so much about "kids these days," but these young people keep me from lumping them all into a big, homogenous group. They're individuals, and the truth is, they're really cool people.
4. On the other end of that spectrum, people who are my mom's age. First of all, yay for them, for even wading into the realm of social media. I've noticed with this group that they mostly like or comment on other people's posts and don't post much themselves, but it's a nice way for them to keep in touch with what their kids and grandkids are doing. And knowing they're there serves as a filter sometimes--I do think before I post something about whether it's something I want my mom, or my mother-in-law, or my husband's aunt to see.
5. Local people. For me, this is an important group, because sometimes, even though I moved here three and a half years ago, I still feel like I hardly know anyone here. But there are 30 people or so on my friends list who are people I've met since I've been here (although a few of them have since moved away), and it's nice to have that concrete reminder that I actually have gotten to know some really great people.
6. People whose politics and beliefs are different from mine. OK, so maybe "favorite people" might not be entirely accurate on this one, at least when I consider the group as a whole--but I do think it's important to have these people. While I don't want a steady diet of their political or ideological posts, neither is it healthy to surround myself only with people who think like I do. Some of these people are people I genuinely do like--some I love dearly, since I'm related to them or have a long association with them--and I think it's a good way to avoid the black-and-white "damn liberals"/"idiot conservatives" dichotomy that it's all too easy to fall into. The fact is that there are lovely people who hold a variety of views.
7. Kindred spirits who have become my Facebook friends without having actually met in person. I really enjoy this category of people, although my husband thinks it's a little weird. This a small, select group--a couple of women in particular who are friends with a woman I sort of knew in college, and all of them became my Facebook friends after interacting on a mutual friend's post. I am certain that if the four of us ever got together in person, a fun time would be had by all. Sadly, this is unlikely to happen since we're spread out all over the country, but one of them is not too far away, and I hope to meet her in person sometime.
8. People who post baby pictures. This is one that often makes the "most annoying people on Facebook" lists, which only makes me think that those lists are written by cranky people I wouldn't want to know. I love seeing pictures of people's babies and kids and grandkids. The back-to-school and Halloween pictures make me happy every year. I have a couple of friends who are a little bit delinquent, in my opinion, about posting enough pictures of their babies. Maybe they're sensitive about being on the annoying list, but I say keep 'em coming. I've been known to post baby pictures myself, and my son is 20 years old!
9. Those people I don't know that well and who aren't all that active but who periodically like or comment on my stuff. Maybe it's just me, but that always gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling--it's like I've gone back to high school and some cool kid stops me in the hall to pay me a compliment. It's just unexpected and nice.
10. The people I can always count on to like or comment on my stuff. I have one friend in particular who only gets on Facebook for about an hour a day, during her lunch break at work, and when I suddenly have a whole bunch of notifications, I can usually bet that she's been on. Apparently I'm one of those people to some of my friends, because once a friend asked me if I was upset with her, which baffled me. "No," I said--"why?" "Well," she said, "you just haven't liked or commented on any of my posts in the last couple of days."

Do some of those same people also fall into the annoying categories on those other lists? Maybe so, but I think it's better to see people in a positive light, because we could all stand a little grace to be extended when it comes to putting ourselves out there on the internet. It's easy enough to see little irritations, but I'm trying to make a habit of looking for the good, and I might as well start with the people in my (virtual) world.